Don’t Air your Dirty Laundry

Life has some certainties like death and taxes but in my world it’s food and laundry.  I’ve got plenty to say on the subject of food which I will save for many, many other posts.  Right now it’s all about laundry.

Let’s start with the fact that there is a basket of it in the hallway that I haven’t bothered to bring down to the basement yet.  It made its way downstairs from the second floor but not down another flight to the basement yet.  If it stays there another day, it might get mistaken for clean laundry and make its way back upstairs before being lugged back to the basement.  Confused yet?  Apparently my laundry logs some miles in this house before it actually gets cleaned.

Given the fact that my washing machine is in the basement, I count doing laundry as physical activity.  Therefore I work out all the time, daily in fact.  Having the washing machine in the basement, along with eating Cheerios for breakfast has actually been shown to lower your cholesterol.  Sound good?  I wonder if my physician will buy it.

There is always plenty of laundry.  I commonly deposit a load on the bed with the idea that I will fold it at some point during the day only to shove it all back in the same basket in order to get into bed.  Then I get up the next morning and wonder if that basket is clean or dirty.  Shouldn’t I have a system for all of this?  The other alternative is to dump it all on the pool table by the washing machine.  I wish I could say that is a problem because we are constantly playing pool.  The real problem is that I’m fearful that the weight of all the unfolded laundry will cause me to have to get the table re-leveled.  Having a pool table repaired because of laundry is about as unsexy as tearing your ACL while standing in the lift line.

One thing I have learned is never to get completely caught up on the laundry.  I’m proud to say that this has happened a handful of times but I can assure you that bad things happen when all the laundry is washed.  Folded and put away is another story.  Without fail, if the laundry is done, one or both of the kids will have a bathroom accident.  I kid you not.  I may not have this data officially written down but it is as sure as bread always falls jelly side down.  It is such a sure bet that I take great comfort in seeing plenty of laundry in stages all around the house.  Just don’t tear your ACL tripping over a basket.