Joke’s on Me
My youngest is napping right now. He is a little tired from being up so early this morning and I’m to blame. “When you wake up in the morning, Daddy will be home!” I gushed over dinner. “Yay, Daddy home!” they cheered. I should have phrased it generically like, “you will see Daddy on Friday” or not said anything at all. Fast forward to this morning, and yes, when our youngest boy woke up, at the bleary eyed hour of 5:00, Daddy was home.
My husband and I did what parents do in our semi-conscious state. We allowed the little bugger to climb into bed with us. The hope is that we all fall back asleep in our Dr. Sears’ family bed and wake up a few hours later well rested. Ha! It actually gets worse each time because the older they get the more space they take up. I would have been better off sleeping in my dryer.
About an hour into this sleep experiment he sits up and announces,”I’m wet!”. “What!” I scream, now sitting up and at high alert. “You’re wet!” I groan as I feel around him for that dreaded puddle. “No mommy,” he laughs. Joke’s on me.
This little prankster has been potty trained for a while; since he was two in fact. I wish I could take credit for his potty training success but he did it himself. He started peeing on the potty and one day just refused to wear a diaper. I remember that day well. We were off to some Mom’s Club meet up at a jumpy house place and I turn around to see him throwing his unused diaper in the trash. It was the middle of winter. I was planning on doing this in the spring. I thought about staying home that day but I really wanted some adult conversation so I packed a change of clothes in a toy sized back pack and handed it to him. “Here you go kiddo, these are extra clothes in case you have an accident. Please try not to use them.” He wore that backpack with the same clothes in it for about two weeks and I realized we were done with potty training.
Aim is a different story. With two boys in the house, I am constantly scrubbing toilets. Let me rephrase, I should be scrubbing toilets. One night, my husband came downstairs from tucking the kids in bed to find me scrubbing the toilet. It was the third time that day and it was getting old. “Need some help?” he asks. “No, I got it. I’m just so pissed these guys can’t aim!” I reply. I started to laugh. I love puns and usually make them with intent but this one just came out. The joke’s on me.