Complete Surrender

In a day where life is scheduled and so much is pre-planned it is hard to remember a time where life held boredom and randomness. Those days when someone asked you what you were up to and you said, “Nothing” or “I don’t know”.  Days like that were long and dreamy and mostly blissfully boring. Days where you could afford to choose the wrong color toenail polish because you had plenty of time to take it off and redo it. Days of watching a movie in the middle of a beautiful sunny day because there would still be plenty of sunny day to enjoy even after the movie finished.

Surrendering the day to the complete unknown is a gift of the summer with its hot temperatures and sweating glasses of icy coolness. I miss that summer slowness whose time is measured by the steady back and forth of a porch swing. My calendar now tells me that it is officially fall. The colorful trees and dewy morning grass mark a transition to darker and colder days. The school bus reminds me to check my watch and remember my schedule. I love the fall for its warm earthly beauty and its robust flavors but I fear the fall for the oncoming darkness and cold.

It is an anxious transition for me this change of the season from light to dark, from warm to cold. A bittersweet goodbye from carefree and messy days to structure and order. I no longer choose to struggle this time. Today I surrender and embrace this new season.

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