Which Deodorant Will You Get

“When will you start using deodorant?” our younger son asks his older brother.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you going to get Right Guard or Speed Stick?”

“I don’t know.”

How should he know, he’s only in the fourth grade. The day he’ll need it is quickly approaching but for now he’s unconcerned about puberty. His younger brother can’t wait. He is obsessed with deodorant. He is looking forward to using it the way a girl looks forward to getting her ears pierced. It’s a rite of passage that he doesn’t want to miss. He wants to know exactly how old he has to be. We’ve told him it will be sometime in the fifth grade. “Will I get it on my birthday before I start fifth grade or on the first day of school?”

He is carefully weighing all the brand options and watches all the commercials. We’ve seen lots during the March Madness NCAA tournament. It’s obvious who their target market is. There are ads for deodorant, razors, beer and erectile disfunction. Thankfully he is still focused on his deodorant selection. There’s no need to think about Cialis or Viagra and I’m grateful he hasn’t asked. He has enough work just picking a deodorant and there is plenty to choose from: Right Guard, Speed Stick, Old Spice, Degree.

Degree is the early contender. He likes how the man in the commercial feels his underarm and then snaps his fingers to indicate total dryness. “Mom, it’s dry, like this, *snap*! So can I get Degree when it’s time?” “Yes.” I affirm. He immediately announces his selection to his older brother who could care less and will probably swipe his younger brother’s deodorant when the time comes. Good thing the research will already be done for him.